seeyat

I love you mother, I always will
I failed to show you when you needed it at times
I gave you heartache and pain
I fought against ideas, wishing you'd walk away
In vain
You would fight against reason for me
You would commit treason for me
You made me who I am, when nobody else would
Sometimes, I failed to see the good
You aways remained
I loved you through all of this, through the black
You loved me through anxiety, and panic attacks
Though you never found a cause
Always searching, only looking for a way to give me life
You were no saint
Your methods were unorthodox when you didn't know
Sometimes, life felt like one big show
What was done to me, where I went
Unforgivable to some, but I know what it meant
But light was so faint
Your goal always remained true, always the same
To give me the tools I needed to push through and win my own game
To understand myself when you failed to discover
Eventually finding myself another, maybe a lover
You were there
Cheering me on, sometimes you faultered
Giving up for just a moment, emotions unaltered
Making us breakfast, include the cliches, good way to start the day
Some little inside jokes for you and me in a way
Showing you care

Waste not what your memories wish to hold
Whether held in knowledge or thirsted for
Known or speculated with night
Hold fast your tongue, stay hands from a fight
Do not deny what is not to be known
Whether you're meant to know or to trust you'll be thrown
Guided correctly or doubtful in tears
Free words can come costly and feature our fears
There are days outnumbering the nights, as they burn our eyes
Seemingly forced through a vise, time wasted, though life denies
We shall not be wanting for what we can't have
As always, the freedom we taste can be bland
Your life is what you choose for it to portray
Ask not forgiveness for the unknown games you play
Make right the moments, the bitterness breaking away
Beauty in our lucid nightmares while we wake to the grey

Never hide from the unknown, embrace it
Look into its eyes and choose to face it
Love can be a gift from those you choose
The enemy, in hatred, forced to lose
Confusion in the words you mean to lift
Without them, there is no honest, precious gift
A real meaning to who you are, let that be known
The smile, the laughter, tears and how you've grown
All the days that pass with heart in hand
Giving it to strangers, cross the land
Perhaps attempting safety from itself
The unknown places, thoughts upon a shelf
A hidden and divided crowd of crows
Only one, in truth, will ever know
They choose to fight a war with other's words
Never was it them, the trust endured
Do not become the one who takes an image
Decide's it's what he wants and starts the scrimmage
Disposable memories tossed to the wind
Always; more than everything begins
Memories to be created, moments awaited
God's gifts in the love you perceive as fated
A kinder heart, permanence, beautiful
Because there is nothing more terrible, more horrible
Than losing a memory you could have cherished
When the moment you've forgotten, since has perished
You cannot know, never decide until doubt has died
Become something of yourself, never hide

B͕̮̯̍̌̃̒͛e̳̹͓̬̽͠͝ͅř̜̠̺̩ͮͦ͆g̴̬̤̦̙̩̔͞a͈̙̙̾̂́ͤ͛f̢̨̧̣̬̙̝ͣṛ̨͕̩̠́̽ͤi̧̭̜̇ͫ͗͊͜c̨̛̖̜̗̭̉̂k̶̼̟̮̜̱̽́l̢̟͙̈́̋̍̈͛ę̮̮̭̘͚̇ͦ

Have you seen a poem
A bird singing a sweeter song than this
When in love you sang these tunes I miss
For all time, I would have cried
Perhaps never to recall who I was
Who I wanted to see
Who I am
This is my place
An unending peaceful grace
Do you know who you are
I know, I am you, at times too much
Too many verses placing upon me such curses
An infinite possibility
Why we had been what was seen again
Already done, was this not more than one
I know I will hold you for all time
There will be order and reason to this rhyme
I do not need to find my name, as yours is upon my tongue
I have finally discovered this place, this face, with names I am graced
Are we the waiting, perhaps
Have we found ourselves, discovered a meaning
There is only one hope for one without salvation
Yours, a name once shrouded, clouded
Softly spoken, falsehood, accepted, understood
You were once my savior, now because of you, one greater

You are the future, you are right now
You are a dream, a memory and a melody
You're the wings that hold our hearts and hopes
Forever awaiting your greatest achievements
We are the patience, the understanding
We hope to ourselves never to be demanding

To my own, true that I have yet to know you
Perhaps never to be
As yet for a while I shall be unable to show you
How you mean everything to me

For your brothers, your sisters and all of your friends
I will hope there is more than this fear
That the world is changing so much toward an end
It can only be lost, not held dear

When we think forever, I see you
And the always of life will be you
For the future is yours, today we give tours
Because in many ways, our endings will free you

You are the ones who I wish to be there for each other
You are the children of man, hold the hands of your brothers
You're always a gift to be seen with a smile
Hoping you'll reach your dreams all the while
I will hide away, leave you be, the dramatics of my life unseen
For you deserve more than where I have been

A statement to make while awake, finally I say it
I will not impress them, not best them, won't okay it
I'm not looking for love, no lust or hearts, keep it from me
I will keep from the moments, burdens kept from being free
My one desire is freedom from the shit you pile upon my heart
The pieces of what you claim to be wanted but only tear me apart

I won't spend time with people who have fallen to weakness
Strength is in a pure body, the mind, veins free of bleekness
Yogurt life is kept from all, yes it's delicious, written long ago
Long since lost computers and harddrives let go
A period of silence for the ones who claim to hear
I'd rather wind up dead than fill my lungs with burning fear

My one wish, this wish I place upon the stone
Leave me be, all those who've seen me, left alone
The decade I have had, I want no more, none at all
What you claim is wasted, I want it gone, all to fall
I am trying to be civil with the point I hope to paint
If fifteen years should disappear, the future I'd await

If ever lost, the decade tossed, to winds of burning sand
I should still be the man I see, on memory's demand
What years have done to graces sung, my fingers and my feet
I can't recall the simplest task and now I taste defeat
There once was dancing, all enchanting, nothing better still
I'm better without your compassion, chains and lack of thrill

Is life an excerise in who can guess the best for one
While knowing only you, yourselves and others having fun
You must be clearly understood in knowing what is right
I know not what the meaning is in anything til night
Then I sit and wonder for a short and passing while
As dreams and memories then flood, it seems in single file

You've broken this once mended heart, still now I say good day
I don't want anything I knew, whether known then or today
Tomorrow is my only friend, my only memory
For it is only written by the fates who yet decree
My dreams are all I follow and it's hard enough to catch
When the moments all seem hollow, Mephistopheles does catch

Life is looking for you
Questioning grace
Love has eyes for you
Often misplaced

Perfect, little dreams
Underwhelming this land
Defiantly pleased
Preparing to stand

Alone, always falling
Through smoke and rain
Our open arms calling
Release all your pain

Clearing the air
Of heartache and lies
We're all in repair
With life in our eyes

Fought back defiantly
Never defeated
I give every piece of me
No longer seated

Clearly, this life
Though full of beauty
Cuts like a knife
Hope is our duty

Take a deep breath
Calling on angels
The right and the left
And all of the angles

Learning to move
With lungs and lips locked
Unwilling to lose
What was once out of stock

Broken souls and shattered dreams, hidden memories
Fallen angels taking up swords, told to freeze
No more shall I be the one you expect
Standing tall but never standing erect
So sorry for what you believe could convince the masses
A lack of understanding, missing pieces far outclass this

You never told me what made you so bold
Whether needed for warmth or to keep from the cold
I had no idea that could ever be kept
From the ones with whom each night she slept
There's more to this than any know
You yourself, wouldn't likely let go

I won't try to make you believe, only tell you this
What you may deny can never be dismissed
A fear that kept these thoughts within
All this time, forced back to the sin
Where that beginning ends, this light emerges
Now, my cold and dead heart surges

I release you from where horrible people contain
Done so for me but caused me so much pain
I love you and will for each of my days
Trust is no longer, what they've done's not okay
I do not and cannot attend when you call
I'll be held back softly and always miss the ball
I'm moving on forward with nothing you know
Hopefully dreaming for laughter to show
I do not intend to let go of these things
For never I know which futures they bring
I don't ever know what these objects are for
I've let them all go and I'll paddle from shore
Once gone, then to realize what I have done
By then it's the demons, the day they have won
Alone in the dark, I'm thirsting for passion
Although it is now I shall have satisfaction
So many things pulling in all these directions
Ridiculous truths that must pay for collection
Not enough, never loved, undone above
We have woven a broken fate, bankrupted skies, no glove

Passion, compassion, heartache and blood
Your fashions that injured me rising above
I am my own man and I'll be as I am
I'm more of the kind who watches Kablam
No floor to my foot, throttle in hand
So much more to this than you understand
Attempted to turn me into a niche
Well, now I will prove that I don't need your leash
Love is a drug, the only one needed
Hearts filled with joy cannot be defeated
Bitter and spiteful, slicked back like Travolta
Never for me to be one to insult ya
You have your love and I will have mine
Causing a smile in our young hearts, divine
You can be cool, and I will be happy
Causing a smile cause each one does entrap me
My hair is not short, nor shall it be ever
Down to my elbows, it should be forever
You can be less than impressed with this statement
But I see all your dressage as unpleasant relatement
Now all of this blandness and all of this fault
Is thrown to the wind like the roads take the salt
I am in love with the person I am
For all of your wanting I steady my hand
My home is within me and this will not change
You'll now and forever accept me as strange