"What do you regret most in your life?"
Feb. 5th, 2026 11:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seeyatMost of my life.
Spending too little time with my mother.
Letting a handful of allegedly homeless and evidently jobless high school dropouts live in my first apartment with me rent free. I regret letting them cling so long, they were labeled "friends."
Not standing my ground on sobriety with the people I let squat in my one bedroom apartment.
...not giving up on the idea of playing a musical instrument long ago so I could pursue the things I cared about in junior high and high school; media creation. Now about the only way I'm going to fund a photo/video career is with adult content.
I deeply regret opening a credit card for a drum set instead of the camera I wanted to buy. That was 2.5 grand and a decade of my life I'll never get back. I should never have let anyone or anything convince me not to buy a camera and the same can be said about buying a huge waste of space for swatting cylinders with sticks above observing and truly embracing the world in the art of photography.
It's like every suggestion I've been given over the last 20 years was specifically chosen to guarantee I sit indoors, unseen and unknown. Now that I'm back into photography, my family's apparently not even ready to accept the shift. It's a much more social, mindful and explorative lifestyle intention. I'm also focusing on constant lights for my creative portraits when I can, instead of flash. They're useful for photo and video applications and add the benefit of visible light to portrait shooting.
I deeply regret not cutting ties with substance-users and peddlers.
I self-resentingly regret not getting back into therapy asap. I'm in weekly, now. I have been for about 2 years. I still regret not getting back into it, sooner.
Healing, clarity of intention and emotion are essential.
Spending too little time with my mother.
Letting a handful of allegedly homeless and evidently jobless high school dropouts live in my first apartment with me rent free. I regret letting them cling so long, they were labeled "friends."
Not standing my ground on sobriety with the people I let squat in my one bedroom apartment.
...not giving up on the idea of playing a musical instrument long ago so I could pursue the things I cared about in junior high and high school; media creation. Now about the only way I'm going to fund a photo/video career is with adult content.
I deeply regret opening a credit card for a drum set instead of the camera I wanted to buy. That was 2.5 grand and a decade of my life I'll never get back. I should never have let anyone or anything convince me not to buy a camera and the same can be said about buying a huge waste of space for swatting cylinders with sticks above observing and truly embracing the world in the art of photography.
It's like every suggestion I've been given over the last 20 years was specifically chosen to guarantee I sit indoors, unseen and unknown. Now that I'm back into photography, my family's apparently not even ready to accept the shift. It's a much more social, mindful and explorative lifestyle intention. I'm also focusing on constant lights for my creative portraits when I can, instead of flash. They're useful for photo and video applications and add the benefit of visible light to portrait shooting.
I deeply regret not cutting ties with substance-users and peddlers.
I self-resentingly regret not getting back into therapy asap. I'm in weekly, now. I have been for about 2 years. I still regret not getting back into it, sooner.
Healing, clarity of intention and emotion are essential.
