Why I still mourn mom
Jul. 12th, 2025 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seeyatI think I've come to terms with why I grieve my mother so deeply. Her presence was a promise of known community. She always made an effort to know and care about each and every friend I've ever had.
Her life was filled with that hope. It was also a promise that she would remember things about my friends I might have forgotten and she was assurance that in reconnecting with distanced friends, they would have a place reminiscent of home.
No other human being can replace that and anyone who tries would only add more distance due to their alien nature.
I can choose to live as hopefully as she did, as socially and intentionally as she did... and offer my friends and family a home within my heart. ...but my heart's not yet nearly the size of hers.
...so I mourn and hang my head silently, hoping some answers may leap into my mind and open that heart a little more.
I'm thankful for all she's ever taught me as a natural nurturing spirit.
Her life was filled with that hope. It was also a promise that she would remember things about my friends I might have forgotten and she was assurance that in reconnecting with distanced friends, they would have a place reminiscent of home.
No other human being can replace that and anyone who tries would only add more distance due to their alien nature.
I can choose to live as hopefully as she did, as socially and intentionally as she did... and offer my friends and family a home within my heart. ...but my heart's not yet nearly the size of hers.
...so I mourn and hang my head silently, hoping some answers may leap into my mind and open that heart a little more.
I'm thankful for all she's ever taught me as a natural nurturing spirit.
