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seeyatI often think back on my experiences while trying to "fit in" with people I now understand I didn't belong around.
Losing Mom's Jeep; the one dad and I rebuilt for me to own is one of those experiences I often reflect on.
I was at a "party" that I really wasn't enjoying. I was on some meds and they jingled around in my backpack so a bunch of people found and divvied up my Adderall and Ativan and Klonopin amongst themselves. I should have left the moment that all started happening but I stayed.
Later that night, a woman in a corset started stumbling toward the door so I jumped up and asked for her keys. I think I may have reached out for them at one point but I basically blocked her and asked her a series of questions to gauge the clarity of her responses.
I eventually asked then pleaded for her to let me drive her home. I had my '99 Jeep Cherokee chilling in the street and I would have happily driven her home and either returned or drove myself home. Instead, she accepted the request as long as I drove her in her car.
I was hesitant at first because I'd never been anywhere near Detroit like this, let alone had to walk back to my car from god knows where.
I decided it was safer even if I had to stay at her place because at least I was keeping a drunk driver off the road.
All the guys at the party through gestures and smiles and thumbs up at me while I walked her to her car... then I drove her home. I wound up fingering her to squirting orgasm while sitting in her driveway. I thought we were done and she'd pass out, so I sat down on the couch in her front room but she beckoned me toward the bedroom where she rode me for what had to be hours. I was uncomfortable, felt trapped because I was in her house in the middle of an area I'd never been with my car sitting somewhere I already felt unsafe.
...I didn't orgasm. She got off twice which is cool for her.
When she dropped me off at my car, I went inside to try to get some rest but I could barely overcome the spikes of anxiety and lack of sleep with chemical dysregulation and missed prescriptions.
I was in college at Macomb Community College at the time and I had classes the next day so I tried to drive home, expecting to get proper rest but I wound up with a dead LG Intuition phone... and I was essentially lost without its GPS so between fumbling with that, dealing with a dysregulated nervous system full of anxiety I ran a red light and the rear bumper of my Jeep got clipped by a van with a mother and her kids driving.
I rolled twice with one full rotation completely airborne and landed upside down before sliding to a halt.
...
Also, the sex was horrible.
Losing Mom's Jeep; the one dad and I rebuilt for me to own is one of those experiences I often reflect on.
I was at a "party" that I really wasn't enjoying. I was on some meds and they jingled around in my backpack so a bunch of people found and divvied up my Adderall and Ativan and Klonopin amongst themselves. I should have left the moment that all started happening but I stayed.
Later that night, a woman in a corset started stumbling toward the door so I jumped up and asked for her keys. I think I may have reached out for them at one point but I basically blocked her and asked her a series of questions to gauge the clarity of her responses.
I eventually asked then pleaded for her to let me drive her home. I had my '99 Jeep Cherokee chilling in the street and I would have happily driven her home and either returned or drove myself home. Instead, she accepted the request as long as I drove her in her car.
I was hesitant at first because I'd never been anywhere near Detroit like this, let alone had to walk back to my car from god knows where.
I decided it was safer even if I had to stay at her place because at least I was keeping a drunk driver off the road.
All the guys at the party through gestures and smiles and thumbs up at me while I walked her to her car... then I drove her home. I wound up fingering her to squirting orgasm while sitting in her driveway. I thought we were done and she'd pass out, so I sat down on the couch in her front room but she beckoned me toward the bedroom where she rode me for what had to be hours. I was uncomfortable, felt trapped because I was in her house in the middle of an area I'd never been with my car sitting somewhere I already felt unsafe.
...I didn't orgasm. She got off twice which is cool for her.
When she dropped me off at my car, I went inside to try to get some rest but I could barely overcome the spikes of anxiety and lack of sleep with chemical dysregulation and missed prescriptions.
I was in college at Macomb Community College at the time and I had classes the next day so I tried to drive home, expecting to get proper rest but I wound up with a dead LG Intuition phone... and I was essentially lost without its GPS so between fumbling with that, dealing with a dysregulated nervous system full of anxiety I ran a red light and the rear bumper of my Jeep got clipped by a van with a mother and her kids driving.
I rolled twice with one full rotation completely airborne and landed upside down before sliding to a halt.
...
Also, the sex was horrible.
