CHD - Children's Home of Detroit
Sep. 28th, 2025 04:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seeyatI once found myself in a place called Children’s Home of Detroit after, as she bent down to kiss me good morning, I shoved my mother off my bed with an aluminum baseball bat I had laying across my chest, waiting… she had already given me my “10 minute wake up warning.”
I was always pretty feminine with my perspectives on relationship, identity, etc. I was an artist if I could describe myself as such and I found unusual hobbies and music for a boy. I also had clinical depression and medicated ADHD. So, I didn’t want to go. …and I had learned some pretty messed up strategies for pushing people away.
I wound up in Juvie for 8 hours in a “scared straight” program, then the ICR (intensive care residential) program which was covered by dad’s insurance and finally, longterm… not covered by dad’s insurance. This is when the decision was made for me to be put on disability was entertained. A lawyer was brought in, then an outside psych professional who called Doctor Patrick Ryan. Dr Ryan had seen me about a year prior and diagnosed “Pervasive Developmental or Otherwise Specified” along with noting “Low Ego Strength” and Depression. This phone call is all it took for a diagnostic shift from PDD to Asperger’s and the disability claim was made for financial coverage.
I’ve been on disability income ever since, with no further significant reassessment aside from a handful of rudamentary check ups and questionnaires.
The aforementioned events are some of my primary motivations for understanding humans and developing complex and healthy communication skills and practices. I often find myself getting frustrated with the uselessness of mind-numbing TV and movies if I don’t get at least a few hours of consuming valuable educational content and I often journal or even write essays when I find an interesting idea like e-prime, NVC, gestalt psychology, polyvagal theory or the PTMF.
I’m presently making an effort to remain in weekly therapy and eventually pay for a full-scale reassessment. My current guardian is completely supportive and agrees I’m significantly more capable than any of their other clients. We’ve discussed my goals and are on track to get me off guardianship and disability in general.
Vulnerable honesty is essential in this life. We’re all here to learn from one another and help others feel safe. Heartfelt, humble accountability is one of our most valuable efforts in allowing people that sense of social safety. It nurtures a sense of community and belonging when received by healthy, compassionate people.
This is my life. It’s bumpy. The question is, does this vulnerability open doors for scapegoating and undue blame, shaming or rejection? The answer is, yeah… it can. Sometimes it’s hard to find safe, reliable and respectable community when such a history exists.
Doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop trying to leave this world better than I found it.
I was always pretty feminine with my perspectives on relationship, identity, etc. I was an artist if I could describe myself as such and I found unusual hobbies and music for a boy. I also had clinical depression and medicated ADHD. So, I didn’t want to go. …and I had learned some pretty messed up strategies for pushing people away.
I wound up in Juvie for 8 hours in a “scared straight” program, then the ICR (intensive care residential) program which was covered by dad’s insurance and finally, longterm… not covered by dad’s insurance. This is when the decision was made for me to be put on disability was entertained. A lawyer was brought in, then an outside psych professional who called Doctor Patrick Ryan. Dr Ryan had seen me about a year prior and diagnosed “Pervasive Developmental or Otherwise Specified” along with noting “Low Ego Strength” and Depression. This phone call is all it took for a diagnostic shift from PDD to Asperger’s and the disability claim was made for financial coverage.
I’ve been on disability income ever since, with no further significant reassessment aside from a handful of rudamentary check ups and questionnaires.
The aforementioned events are some of my primary motivations for understanding humans and developing complex and healthy communication skills and practices. I often find myself getting frustrated with the uselessness of mind-numbing TV and movies if I don’t get at least a few hours of consuming valuable educational content and I often journal or even write essays when I find an interesting idea like e-prime, NVC, gestalt psychology, polyvagal theory or the PTMF.
I’m presently making an effort to remain in weekly therapy and eventually pay for a full-scale reassessment. My current guardian is completely supportive and agrees I’m significantly more capable than any of their other clients. We’ve discussed my goals and are on track to get me off guardianship and disability in general.
Vulnerable honesty is essential in this life. We’re all here to learn from one another and help others feel safe. Heartfelt, humble accountability is one of our most valuable efforts in allowing people that sense of social safety. It nurtures a sense of community and belonging when received by healthy, compassionate people.
This is my life. It’s bumpy. The question is, does this vulnerability open doors for scapegoating and undue blame, shaming or rejection? The answer is, yeah… it can. Sometimes it’s hard to find safe, reliable and respectable community when such a history exists.
Doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop trying to leave this world better than I found it.
