Relationship with Dad:
Nov. 16th, 2025 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seeyatI don’t talk to him much. I rent a townhouse he owns, live about 5 miles from the Marina where he keeps one of his boats… I watch his dog occasionally. There’s rarely any level of conversation involved around any of it.
We’ve never had deep or meaningful conversations let alone any wherein which feelings are shared. It’s a considerably transactional relationship, often to mutual benefit. …but no discussion of hopes, dreams or aspirations. Just gifts. Don’t get wrong, sometimes they’re extravagant; 3k PC, 2.5k on a Wacom tab, 10k on a sports car… but I’d like a depth and direction conversation and it would be great if his unannounced gifts weren’t hockey, boat or car related.
It’s all fair gifting since dad made the decision to claim disability income for me at age 15. He set me in a position of permanent scarcity and we were always aware of and seeking various investments and lifestyle improvements to make it easier to integrate with the family for social support and also potentially find non-traditional ways of making money or building a career.
…then I connected with perhaps the wrong community with a bit more traditional belief system around “independence.” That New York buckle down mentality actually introduced some extremely devastating community divides.
Before mom passed away, I was spending plenty of time with everyone; attending holidays, birthdays, random barbecues, game nights, went to some conventions with fam for free. We were planning to buy me a 501st approved cosplay for volunteering and community support. Also had plans for a decent media gear collection and editing rig for non-traditional earning and college.
COVID sort of screwed me and so too, possibly my connection with a local church community… instead of the Catholic Church all the kids were baptized at.
Now, I don't even have a car to visit our lake house and see family 2 hours away from me... but I did shoot photography for Dodge Viper event dad hosted called the Kennonball Run, where he had over 50 Vipers run a road rally from Chelsea Proving Grounds to a restaurant near our lake house then back toward Woodward.
At the moment, I'm finding some success in suggesting a couple decent lenses for my Nikon so I can better cover next year's Kennonball. I'm also continuing to try setting boundaries against the somewhat parasitic connections that come with being on fixed disability income in Michigan's lower peninsula... or the United States in general but I think that's just a poverty thing.
We’ve never had deep or meaningful conversations let alone any wherein which feelings are shared. It’s a considerably transactional relationship, often to mutual benefit. …but no discussion of hopes, dreams or aspirations. Just gifts. Don’t get wrong, sometimes they’re extravagant; 3k PC, 2.5k on a Wacom tab, 10k on a sports car… but I’d like a depth and direction conversation and it would be great if his unannounced gifts weren’t hockey, boat or car related.
It’s all fair gifting since dad made the decision to claim disability income for me at age 15. He set me in a position of permanent scarcity and we were always aware of and seeking various investments and lifestyle improvements to make it easier to integrate with the family for social support and also potentially find non-traditional ways of making money or building a career.
…then I connected with perhaps the wrong community with a bit more traditional belief system around “independence.” That New York buckle down mentality actually introduced some extremely devastating community divides.
Before mom passed away, I was spending plenty of time with everyone; attending holidays, birthdays, random barbecues, game nights, went to some conventions with fam for free. We were planning to buy me a 501st approved cosplay for volunteering and community support. Also had plans for a decent media gear collection and editing rig for non-traditional earning and college.
COVID sort of screwed me and so too, possibly my connection with a local church community… instead of the Catholic Church all the kids were baptized at.
Now, I don't even have a car to visit our lake house and see family 2 hours away from me... but I did shoot photography for Dodge Viper event dad hosted called the Kennonball Run, where he had over 50 Vipers run a road rally from Chelsea Proving Grounds to a restaurant near our lake house then back toward Woodward.
At the moment, I'm finding some success in suggesting a couple decent lenses for my Nikon so I can better cover next year's Kennonball. I'm also continuing to try setting boundaries against the somewhat parasitic connections that come with being on fixed disability income in Michigan's lower peninsula... or the United States in general but I think that's just a poverty thing.
